If you know me at all, you know that I am obsessed with One Tree Hill. I get so involved with this show that I joke around that I am having my nightly dinner date on Monday nights at 9 because I feel like I know the characters that well that I just feel like we are going to dinner and catching up on the week's events. Feel free to laugh at me.
Anyways, I just saw an episode for the first time a few weeks ago and I can't get it out of my mind. Payton asked Lucas "Imagine a future moment in your life when all of your dreams come true and its the greatest moment in your life and you get to experience it with one person in your life. Who do you want standing next to you?"
Lucas first answered with some cute celebrity, but Payton made him dig deeper until he had a realistic name of someone who really could stand next to him.
I knew exactly who I wanted standing next to me because I would want this person to stand next to me when my dreams come true and when my world crumbles apart. I would not understand life or be able to get out of bed a lot of days without knowing this person had my back and would be there for me if I desperately just needed a friend to celebrate in the good times with or cry during the bad. Life without this person would be incredibly empty for me. However, I do have a list of others that I would call up for other events because they might get more excited about it or might understand the depth of the achievement or the depth of the heartache.
So now I ask... When you become All-American, who do you want standing next to you? When you get your book published, who do you want standing next to you? When you find out that you are terminally ill, who do you want standing next to you? When you own up to the addiction thats been controlling your life, who do you want standing next to you? When your cd gets signed, who do you want standing next to you? When you save the world by building fresh water wells for countries, who do you want standing next to you? When your friend steals the boy or girl you like, who do you want standing next to you? When you get married, who do you want standing next to you? When tragedy hits and you lose a parent or close friend, who do you want next to you? When you have/adopt your first child, who do you want standing next to you? When you get your dream job, who do you want standing next to you? Get the picture yet?
I obviously realize that some of these are silly and some are more serious but this has been on my mind a lot and this is my note so please bare with me :)
Is it bad to have a different person for every questioned answered? Or was the same person mentioned for every single question? Does that mean that there is no one that knows all sides of you but lots that know a little? Is that bad? I don't know... I struggle with this so I have no answers, if there are answers. However, I would venture to say that it is a bad thing if there is not one person that you COULD go to for all of these events. I also feel like if you are not fighting to be around that person that you answered to every one of those questions then it is time to reevaluate and search a little deeper and maybe reprioritize. I feel like if this person isn't continually pushing you to reach for your dreams it is time to move from them. I feel like if you haven't told this person that you love them and if you haven't shown them that they mean that much to you that you want them there for all of your defining moments, that it is time to grow up and show some appreciation back.
Maybe I am crazy, I probably am, but again it is just something I've been thinking about a lot. Maybe with all that said it is time for me to reevaluate or maybe it is time to grow up. Or maybe it is time for me to go to bed and stop writing notes. I'm gonna regret this one in the morning, I'm sure.
9 comments:
this was freakin awesome, honestly i think i had a different person in mind as i read through all of the different accomplishments...this was cool and thought provoking and maybe some of us just havent met that one person that they would want there for every moment yet.
Well my friend I'm completely proud of you for this...don't regret it one bit you hear me! I guess I'm starting to realize that it isn't fair to have just one person fullfill all of these, it's too much to ask and not realistic. Instead have a few that can be in more than one area...to have several, well that totally rocks! :) Oh and when I do my one certain thing, that you know about...yeah, you're the one. :) Love ya!
Marci, this is brilliant.
I am amazed at this because it really is making me think too. I have discussed this with Chad a little. Even though we are married and I want him there in all times I know he can't be and therefore I have different people for different things. I think Carla is right that is isn't fair to expect that from one person and it is awesome to have different people around you that can support you in various ways. Awesome note.
Awesome note Marci! It's making me think too. I do agree that it is good to have more than just one person that you can turn to for help or whatever. There may be one person that you share more with than you do the others, but it's always good to have a back up. ;)
Marci…I love to see how you think; it’s deep and gets people thinking….I wish I could’ve/would’ve thought like you at your age. I’m going to expand upon your thoughts, from my perspective as someone who felt relationally empty for the first 30 years of his life, but has since experienced the gift of authentic and transparent relationships. Even after we learn how to truly love others, I do believe there will still be people in our lives who will only know some of the little things about us…basically due to their limited ability to love others… because you have to receive love to give love. I would also agree with your assumption that it’s unhealthy to have nobody in your life who truly knows you and could be a part of every aspect of your life…the good, the bad and the ugly. Having one person, who you trust to know your heart, is having more than the average person. However, how awesome would it be to have more than one person with whom you trust with your heart?
We were created in the image of God, and God lives in a community of love with Christ and the Holy Spirit….thus we were meant to live in a loving community with others. This community isn’t made up of people who give 50%/50% in a relationship, sharing just enough to get by (and only giving as much as the other gives), this community is made up of people who give 100%/100%...sharing all of themselves. I love analogies, and the first thought that came to my head is that…when you give a gift to someone, do you give them the entire gift, or just a piece? Do you give someone ½ of a CD or DVD? Do you give someone a book with half of the pages ripped out? No…you give them the entire gift, and I believe the best gift you can give someone is 100% of you. I believe wholeness and completeness is our nature, which is why we don’t create video games without consoles, cars without wheels, or houses without roofs.
I believe that emptiness and the ‘hunger for more’ we experience is our desire for true community, built on a foundation of 100% authentic and transparent relationships with others. I believe our relationships are like any investment – they have their ups and downs, and require a lot of time, hard work and nurturing, but the more you invest, the greater the return; and the more love we receive, the more we can give. I think of the phrase, ‘Don’t knock it until you’ve tried it.’ By giving 100% to others, they have given 100% back to me, which I believe has allowed me to experience a glimpse of God’s love. And when you experience something that is so awesome, don’t you want to share it with others?
And speaking of sharing great things….I strongly recommend to everyone to read ‘The Shack’ by William Paul Young. It has opened my eyes to seeing God more like a father, and I hope/believe it will be a catalyst in my relationship with him.
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